Starting Over?

I've traveled in and out of the blogger world numerous times now, flitting across multiple providers and posting in floods (usually followed by long droughts). I was recently reading over my old blog from way-back-when, and was distressed to find that I no longer considered it "presentable." Not that there was any objectionable content, but that I was a ashamed of my past views and the potential ramifications of exposing them to my current compatriots. As a credit to my conceit, I'm still rather pleased with my writing style from back then (although I've had to accept that I will probably never learn how NOT to end a sentence with a preposition), but I know that my attempts at... intelligence, if you will... would probably only bring frustration and ridicule from the people I would rather like to impress at the moment. This makes me very sad, since I still treasure those reflections of my past. In a perfect world, I would willingly just start up that blog again, continuing in the tradition of monthly (years) between posts and misrepresented snapshots of my life. But the shame doesn't go away, and so here I am, again, trying to create anew rather than build off the old.

And another thing. Blogging is typically done for other people, although many of us try to fool ourselves into thinking otherwise (myself included). I'm torn between the desire for a journal, where all thoughts are free game, and the desire for an expressive outlet to friends, where all thoughts are potentially-hurt-feelings and complex-relationship-challenges. And, from experience, there is no such thing as a happy medium. Hmmm... Oh well.